Are you a vision of heroic virtue – or a paragon of fairy tale villainy? Let the Alchemy Lab Imps and Trading Post Goblins decide! THIS is the NAUGHTY OR NICE INQUISITION! For $48US, you will receive both a fairy tale-themed Bath Oil and a Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab fragrance that coordinates with your holiday judgment. You have a choice: let the Black Phoenix goblins determine your fate, convince us of your goodness (or wickedness!), or cut to the chase and order items individually.
How do you influence the imps and goblins? You may plead your case in the comments field of your order. If you choose to leave it blank, the denizens of Black Phoenix will utilize the ancient art of sniffomancy in order to determine your fate. Time permitting, entries will be published on the Black Phoenix Trading Post FB page, unless you request otherwise. Please indicate whether you wish to remain anonymous, and if you would like your name published, how you wish for it to appear.
If you have been NICE, you will receive one of the following Nice Bath Oils:
RAGS TO ROYALTY
A bath fit for a down-to-earth monarch: sweet aged patchouli, golden amber, cacao, winter honey, precious oudh, and ylang ylang.
THREE IMPOSSIBLE ERRANDS BATH OIL
A bath oil to help you relax after slaying dragons, polymorphing prickish princes, carrying water in irritating sieves, breaking all manner of curses, and grooming talking animals: Roman chamomile, bourbon geranium, Indian frankincense, French lavender, and vanilla orchid.
… plus one of these Nice perfumes
KNIGHT IN SHINY ARMOR
Gird your loins for battle with a cologne that will infuse you with an extra boost of bravery, chivalry, and gentlemanly wherewithal: dapper lavender fougere with white carnation, sweet oakmoss, clary sage, crisp leather, bourbon vanilla, and a hint of armor polish.
No tower too high, no dragon too mighty! Get in ass-kickin’, self-savin’ gear with this bright, energetic perfume! Orange blossom, neroli, white musk, shimmering amber, yellow sandalwood, Himalayan cedar, radiant saffron, and golden honey.
Enhance your Wise Woman cred with this combination of sage, shrewd oils. Herbs of wisdom, flowers of wit, and the comforting scent of the hearth: hyssop, oak leaf, acorn hull, elder blossom, three sages, and tobacco absolute, with kitchen herbs and raw honey.
… and a jar of Nice Glop, which is only available if you purchase a Nice set or are deemed Nice (based on your plea) by the Trading Post goblins:
Very, very nice: honey-coated honeysuckle and sugar cane.
If you have been NAUGHTY, you will receive one of the following Naughty Bath Oils:
Luxuriate in a pool of lavish, sinful indulgence while you hatch your next malicious scheme: black patchouli, sharp green tea, raw tobacco leaf, a dribble of orange blossom, and caramelized sugar.
UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER
The perfect way to unwind after you’ve eviscerated your foes: white champagne grape, blood red roses, violet leaf, and bourbon vanilla.
… plus one of these Naughty perfumes
Are you over your liege lord’s shenanigans? Do you think you could do one better? Look no further! We have the perfect Power Cologne for you! Overthrow the rightful regent with style: smoky vetiver cologne with black leather, black pepper, smoky coffee bean, Italian bergamot, and Mysore sandalwood.
Mad with power, madly in love, or just mad: a dark, spellbinding, seductively narcissistic mix of tuberose, blackened vanilla musk, caraway, white gardenia, red amber, black velvet accord, and jasmine sambac.
Whether you’re flipping through poisoned apple recipes on Pinterest, researching dilapidated towers to house irritating princesses, or simply interested in a sporting match of croquet, dab a little of our perfume behind each ear, and you’ll be ready to destroy all those who stand in your way. Velvet red roses, mimosa blossom, heady magnolia, oudh, and black patchouli draped across a regal purple musk.
… and a jar of Naughty Glop, which is only available if you purchase a Naughty set or are deemed Naughty (based on your plea) by the Trading Post goblins:
Very, very naughty: red musk, leather, bourbon vanilla, and red patchouli.
The GLOPS are only available in the Naughty or Nice sets, and are not sold individually. WHAT IS A GLOP? Dear reader, a glop is one ounce of luxuriant, lotiony goodness.
We have combined shea olein with refined rice bran oil, fractionated coconut oil, rosehip seed oil, evening primrose oil, Vitamin E, and apricot kernel oil to make the most soothing, nourishing, and all-around amazing hand-and-foot lotion imaginable. Each Glop is lavishly scented with Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab fragrances that were created specifically for this project.
[Butyrospermum parkii, refined rice bran oil, fractionated coconut oil, rosehip seed oil, evening primrose oil, Vitamin E, apricot kernel oil, and Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab fragrance.]
You may place an order for multiple sets, or place multiple orders, and in either case, each will be considered separately in the course of the Inquisition process. If you are placing an order for more than one set, you may submit multiple Naughty or Nice pleas, applicable to each order. Please indicate which Naughty or Nice statement pertains to which section of your order. No imps are available for scents in this series.
Once your Naughty or Nice status is determined, you will be given one of the oils from your status category. If you choose to forego the Plea Process, we will weep bitter tears, but will respect your requests. If you choose not to participate via Plea, please simply enter your request for which bath oil and perfume you want in the comments field of your order. If you leave the comments field blank, we will make your choice for you. If you wish to purchase products individually, you may do so HERE.
We are not suggesting, by way of this Inquisition, that anyone that participates is actually evil, wicked, naughty, unpleasant, malicious, or anything else shady. This is intended to be taken in good humor; don’t be a sourpuss!
Artwork by Her Majestic Wickedness, Lady Tanya Bjork!