++ THE FOUR SNOWMEN OF THE SNOWPACALYPSE
And I saw when Rudolph opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four reindeer saying, Come and see.
And I saw, and behold a white snowman: and he had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.
And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second reindeer say, Come and see.
And there went out another snowman that was red: and power was given to him to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.
And when Rudolph had opened the third seal, I heard the third reindeer say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black snowman; and he had a pair of balances in his hand.
And I heard a voice in the midst of the four reindeer say, A measure of peppermint for a penny, and three measures of licorice rope for a penny; and see thou hurt not the egg nog and the gløgg.
And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth reindeer say, Come and see.
And I looked, and behold a pale snowman: and his name was Frosty, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
And when Rudolph had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were Naughty, and for the testimony which they held:
And they cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, O Santa, jolly and rosy-cheeked, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth? Have we not been good for goodness sake?
And red robes were given unto every one of them; and it was said unto them, that they should rest yet for a little season, until their elves also and their workshop helpers, that should be killed as they were, should be fulfilled.
And I beheld when Rudolph had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as coal, and the moon became as fruitcake;
And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fir tree casteth her untimely needles, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.
And the heaven departed as a bough of holly when it is dry and brittle; and every jingle bell and gingerbread house were moved out of their places.
And the naughty children of the earth hid themselves under their beds;
And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of St. Nick:
For the great day of Santa’s wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?
Artwork by Aidan Casserly, scents by Elizabeth Barrial